


God-tier Watersports

by redglares_hot_butt



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-25 23:14:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3828484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redglares_hot_butt/pseuds/redglares_hot_butt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave and Jade share a kink for pee, and they've both found some interesting ways to use their godtier powers on their bladders for some extra fun. So, when they're exploring Jade's land together and nature calls, some good-natured ribbing turns into a contest to see who can use their powers to make the other have to pee more, which turns into some hot - and very wet - sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	God-tier Watersports

"Your land is so weird, Dave!" Jade said, bounding from one gear to another. Dave followed along after his girlfriend, nodding stoically at one of the crocodiles who was nakking away on an adjacent gear. 

"Wow, rude. I think it's pretty great. Suits my sense of style," Dave said with a hint of mock indignation. He had certainly grown to like LOHAC and its little perks. One of them was on display in front of him - because of the heat, Jade was wearing a rather skimpy version of her dress of eclectica. Dave had a nice view of his girlfriend's bare upper back and her thighs, and as she bounced along he even caught a bit of a glimpse of her green panties. 

"It's not nearly as pretty as my land or Rose's," Jade said, turning back towards Dave with a grin. "And it's too hot! I don't know how you wear that whole suit thing, I feel like I'm melting even in this. I mean, I know you like looking at my hot body, but sheesh you could just ask me to wear some lingerie or something in a nice, cool, air-conditioned room!" 

Busted! Dave tried not to betray any emotion. "That is an affirmative that Jade Harley has a hot ass that is enjoyable to observe, yes."

Jade giggled, looking down at her dress. "I don't even see how this is good for looking at my ass! I mean, it's all poofy around the waist. I'd have to do this," she said, whirling around with a grin and hiking up her skirt. Jade shook her butt at Dave with her legs pressed together. Dave nodded in approval, but he couldn't keep from cracking a small smile when he recognized something familiar in Jade's movements. 

"Very nice, A-plus ass shaking," Dave said, moving closer to Jade. "But yo, I can't help but notice a bit of a potty dance in that wiggle."

"Oh!" Jade stood up straight again and blushed, this time pressing her hands against her crotch and bouncing back and forth in an exaggerated manner. "Yeah, I have to pee a bit! So I guess you get more fun stuff to watch!" She stuck out her tongue playfully. 

"Aww yiss," Dave gave a slight smile again. "But if ya gotta go, ya gotta go! I mean, I know my land is amazingly pristine and all but a bit of whiz isn't gonna hurt it. So let 'er rip if you need to, ya know?" 

"Pfft! You've watched me pee all over the place around here, you know I'm not waiting for permission or something," Jade rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I like holding, it feels nice to be like this! I'll go when I'm good and ready, and you can watch, I promise. Until then you just have to think about how much your sexy girlfriend has to piss, and how much that turns her on!" Jade smiled slyly at Dave and slid over to give him a slap on the butt.

"Alright alright, easy there," Dave replied, putting an arm around Jade's shoulders. "I was just offering, in case you were being polite and not just going to the bathroom all over someone else's land unannounced. I didn't know you were gonna be doing your sexy bladder games when we were just having a casual innocent stroll around." 

"Pfffffft!" Jade turned towards Dave so her dismissive noise blew a puff of air against his cheek. "Like you haven't peed on just about every tree in my land! I'm part dog, I can smell these things, remember. And don't pretend you wouldn't jump at a chance to watch me take a sexy piss regardless of what casual, innocent circumstances we were in. Pfffffffffffft!" Jade giggled as she blew at Dave's face again, then continued. "Anyway if I wasn't holding on purpose I wouldn't have gotten to this point! I'd have just peed somewhere already. Or used my space powers to deal with it." 

"Ah yes, the space powers. Makes everyone's life a bit exciting, doesn't it? You never know where you'll find a bladderful of Harley urine teleported to next," Dave teased, leaning in to plant a kiss on Jade's cheek. 

"Umm no, I meant like using the powers to shrink how much stuff is in my bladder! I do that sometimes, and I expand how much is there sometimes when I want to have some fun," Jade said, pausing to reciprocate the kiss. "But I don't usually just teleport the pee out of my bladder, even if that's one of your weird fantasies! Actually I'm not sure why it would be, since if I was gonna teleport it somewhere I might as well just piss there normally, and I'm sure you'd have more fun watching me do that." 

Dave smiled, and moved to stand in front of Jade and put his hands on her hips. She reciprocated by wrapping her arms around his shoulders, and Dave continued, "Well, I suppose that's a more practical way to do it, the shrinking and expanding thing. I guess I kind of do that sometimes with time powers. Well, not the same thing, but slowing or rewinding or fast-forwarding the urine production and blah blah blah," Dave said. At first, the idea of using his time powers on his own bodily processes had seemed scary, since he wasn't exactly a medical expert who would know what could possibly go wrong. But as he became more attuned to his godtier abilities, Dave had learned how to tell what sort of manipulations he could do that would avoid unintended consequences, and he was free to apply it to his bladder at will. "But I don't have any magical piss-teleportation abilities so I wouldn't know how practical those are. And anyway, are you really sure you've never dropped a bladderful of pee somewhere? Maybe on the ground in front of someone annoying so they step in it?" 

"No! That would be mean!" Jade pouted. After a moment, though, her expression turned to a mischievous smile. "Though, now that you mention it..." Jade closed her eyes for a moment and re-opened them with a wide grin before hugging Dave tightly. "There! Now I have! To someone especially annoying." 

"Wha - ?" Dave's question was cut off by his own bladder informing him of a sudden strong urge to pee. It didn't take long to figure out what happened, especially with Jade barely containing herself from breaking out into laughter. "Whoa whoa whoa. Bladder-to-bladder pee teleportation is definitely a whole level above what I was talking about. Also man, you really did have to go, I hafta piss like a racehorce here. But what happened to your promise that I'd get to watch you go?" 

"You'll still get to, once my bladder fills up again and I'm good and ready! I didn't even give you all of the pee I've got in here, anyway. And if you're really nice to me maybe I'll show off those spacey powers to refill myself faster!" Jade said, sticking out her tongue. "Anyway you get to watch me pee way more than I get to watch you! So maybe I just want a show sometimes." 

"Damn, you just could have asked. I mean, yeah I watch you more but a lot of that's because you're a super exhibitionist who will take a leak anywhere, anytime," Dave said. He considered breaking the embrace and sauntering over to the edge of the gear they were standing on, to piss down to the lava far below and give Jade the sight she wanted. But suddenly he got a better idea. If Jade could use her space powers on his bladder, he could use his time powers on hers! He had practiced enough on himself that it was easy to speed up the production of urine in Jade's body. "Anyway, there, now we're even." 

"Ooh! Very clever," Jade giggled, and leaned in to kiss Dave on the lips as her bladder started to fill up again. But then she pulled away with a grin. "But two people can play at that game!" Dave soon started to feel a slow increase in the pressure in his own bladder - Jade must have been using her space powers to further expand the volume of urine inside of him. 

"Touche. So I guess we really are even, then. And we just stand here until we're both bursting and we piss all over each other's legs?" Dave cocked an eyebrow at his girlfriend. It always seemed like they ended up in weird situations like this when Dave was with her, but he could hardly argue.

"Mmm, that sounds hot!" Jade murmured. But then she got another clever idea, and another mischievous grin grew across her face. Jade reached down to Dave's crotch and started to gently rub him through his pants. His dick was already somewhat hard from all of their urinary shenanigans, and it didn't take much touching for Jade to give him a raging boner. She grinned victoriously. "There! Now I can piss all of this out whenever I want, and you can't!" 

"Wow, rude," Dave said, nevertheless continuing to use his powers to fill his girlfriend's bladder, while she continued to use her powers to fill his. "And geez, you know I love handjobs and all, but in public? Think of all of the poor baby nakkodiles." 

"Oh, now you get all worried about public indecency?" Jade rolled her eyes, but continued to rub Dave through his pants. "Well, I guess we can fix that!" In a flash, the two of them popped out of existence on LOHAC and reappeared in Jade's bedroom.

"Alright, I guess that's better," Dave said. Jade's bed was right behind him, and he backed up slightly to sit down on it, so that he could get into a position to ease the pressure on his bladder. He plopped down on the soft blankets, hearing a reassuring crinkle below - Jade always kept a plastic cover over the mattress to safeguard against their watersports fun. Dave leaned back a bit to get himself comfortable, and Jade climbed onto the bed on her knees, straddling Dave.

"Mmm, yes," Jade said, sliding her body up close to Dave's. She reached one arm around his back to hug him tight as she brought her face to his, and kept her other hand rubbing the crotch of his pants. "Damn, all of this silly bladder-filling we're doing is making me really horny." With that, she leaned in to kiss Dave on the lips. 

Dave tried to respond but was quickly muffled by Jade's kiss. He closed his eyes and kissed back, putting an arm around Jade's back to return her embrace. With his other hand he reached under Jade's skirt. She had said she was horny, after all, and there was little he liked more than helping his girlfriend with that. Dave pressed his hand against the crotch of Jade's panties, feeling a slight dampness from her arousal, and started to gently rub back and forth. Jade moaned approvingly into the kiss in response. 

The two went on like that - kissing, touching each other, and continuing to expand the contents of each others' bladders - for a little while longer. After a short while, though, Dave's need to pee started to overpower his arousal, and his dick started to soften. Jade pulled back with a pout. "Aww! What happened?"

"I really gotta piss, babe! That kind of starts killing your boner after a while. So maybe we should just start letting it out all over each other?" Dave replied.

"Aw, man! Why does your boner have to be so lame, I just get hornier and hornier the more I have to pee. I really wanted to rub against it when I let go!" Jade exaggerated her pout even more, still gently rubbing at Dave's dick. 

"Well that wouldn't be fair, now, would it? You getting to take a leak all over me while I'm stuck too hard to piss?" Dave grumbled, continuing to rub at the crotch of Jade's panties.

"Oh, well I can just piss for both of us! Actually, maybe if I help you out just a little..." Jade's pout turned to a grin. Dave wasn't sure what she did, but the urgency of his need to go backed off a bit, and his erection sprang back to life under Jade's hand.

"Whoa, I mean, are you just shrinking away all of that piss? I mean that's not fair either, you're depriving us of all of that sweet sweet Strider piss. Well, I mean, I guess technically it's mostly Harley piss since you were the one who had to go and then teleported it over to me." 

"Yep! And I'm not depriving us of any of it, sheesh! It's Harley pee so I'm just teleporting it back where it belongs." Jade grinned some more. She leaned in to kiss Dave on the lips, then pushed him back on the bed. "Anyway now I really gotta go! And as I said, I'll do the pissing for both of us."

With that, Jade changed the position of how she was straddling Dave, and lowered herself on top of him. She pressed her mouth against his to start making out, and then pressed the crotch of her panties against the fabric of Dave's pants that was draped over his boner. Jade bucked her hips, engaging in a few moments of dry humping. Then, with a loud sigh, Jade started to pee, quickly drenching her panties and Dave's pants as she continued humping her boyfriend.

Dave moaned into the kiss, embracing Jade around the back with one arm and reaching the other to grab her butt, running his fingers along the fabric until they got close enough to her crotch that her piss had soaked that high. He moved his hips a bit in sync with Jade's motions, but mostly just let himself enjoy her thrusts and the resulting tug of his warm, pee-soaked pants against his dick. Having Jade wet-hump him like this was one of Dave's favorite ways to get off. Under normal circumstances he'd have came almost immediately to Jade's thrusting and peeing, but his time powers let him slow this down as much as he wanted. So Dave could enjoy letting Jade do her thing - she was certainly good at getting herself off this way - and then ensure they had simultaneous orgasms at the end.

Dave didn't have to wait long. Soon enough Jade was gasping and groaning into their kiss, and thrusting her hips with more and more of a purpose. Dave reached down and held onto her bucking hips as she continued to grind against him while peeing. Jade slipped her tongue into Dave's mouth and he reciprocated, and the two of them snogged until Jade pulled back to gasp out in pleasure as she started to come. Dave let himself orgasm as well at that point, his cum squirting out into his pants but then surely being washed away by the torrent of piss Jade was continuing to let gush through her underwear. 

Jade continued to hump against Dave's crotch with long, deliberate thrusts that carried both of them through their orgasms. Dave stayed mostly silent, letting out a small moan of pleasure once or twice, while Jade vocalized her ecstasy loudly and shamelessly. After she was finally finished, she gave a loud contented sigh and then collapsed down on Dave's body. Dave embraced his girlfriend and kissed the top of her head. He was happy to enjoy a post-orgasm cuddle, especially when Jade was lying on top of him and continuing to relieve herself. By now, her warm piss had totally drenched the sheets below them and was starting to pool up, forming a puddle around Dave's body where his weight was making an indentation in the plastic-covered mattress. 

"Ahhh! I needed that," Jade said cheerily. She pushed herself up off of Dave, propping herself up over him on her hands and knees with a cheeky grin. Dave gave a small smile in response, and shifted his hands to Jade's hips and crotch. He ran one hand over Jade's panties - which were totally soaked with her warm piss by now - to find her pee stream was still flowing through them as strong as ever and running down her leg. Jade giggled and shifted her position a bit so her stream started to cascade along the fabric of the front of her underwear. It poured out onto the inside of her skirt, and from there flowed off and pattered down on Dave's stomach. "Hah! And the best part is I still have to go a lot so I get to pee all over you for a while longer."

"Mhm," Dave mumbled. Jade had been slowly but consistently draining his own bladder with her space powers, but it was still at a level that he'd normally consider pretty full. Knowing her, she was probably using her space powers to keep herself full too - Jade had a habit of making use of her ability to give Dave a golden shower that lasted as long as she wanted. "I dunno, if we keep going like this you might lose me at the bottom of the ocean," he said teasingly. 

"Pfft! So silly!" Jade giggled and leaned in to give Dave a quick kiss on the nose. She then squatted her butt down right over his waist and squeezed to spray a stronger stream of pee over his godtier outfit for a moment. "I think you're still too dry! And also I'm still kind of horny here, I think I'm gonna hump you some more and get myself off again. Maybe I can time it so that I come right around when I finish peeing!" Jade smiled and shifted again, moving her crotch back towards Dave's. 

"Well duh, I mean your spacey powers let you finish peeing whenever you want," Dave said. He shifted himself a bit under Jade, bending one of his knees to bring his thigh up to gently tap her butt. "Anyway I'm not up for round two yet, but you can do your doggy thing with my leg if you want." 

"Sheesh, why don't you just use your time powers to get yourself ready to go again? Lazy boys," Jade rolled her eyes, but nonetheless moved herself to straddle the leg Dave had offered. She shifted herself to press her crotch firmly against the middle of Dave's thigh. The fabrics of their clothes were sandwiched between their skin, and her still-flowing pee flared out and ran off in a number of rivulets down both of their legs. Jade grinned and began to slowly thrust back and forth, rocking her vulva against Dave's leg as she pissed. "And I don't think this is really a doggy thing! I mean, I think people can hump against each other as part of sex sometimes." 

Dave tried to think of a witty response, but his window of opportunity closed quickly when Jade leaned down to start to kiss him again. Jade settled down on top of him, still peeing against his leg and lazily rocking back and forth to stimulate herself. Dave wrapped one arm around Jade's upper body and reached the other down to cup his hand against the wet panties clinging to her butt. They both closed their eyes, content to make out with each other while Jade did her thing. 

The two of them kept kissing as the minutes ticked by, getting well acquainted with each other's mouths. Jade continued to leisurely hump Dave's leg as they kissed, and her urine continued to flow, expanding the puddle beneath them all of the time. Eventually, Jade began to rock herself more determinedly, and started to work herself up towards orgasm. It didn't take much longer for her to come, her groans muffled by Dave's mouth. When she finished, she plopped herself down on top of him with a happy sigh. By that point Dave was laying in a sizable pool of his girlfriend's still-hot pee.

"Damn, Jade, taking your time there. Ten minutes and twenty-five seconds to get yourself off, you can do better than that," Dave said teasingly, planting a kiss on the top of Jade's head.

"I don't have to try to race every time, Dave! It's fun to go nice and slow sometimes. Besides, that wasn't even that long," Jade said with some playful indignation. She leaned her head up to grin at Dave, planting a kiss on his lips before continuing. "Anyway that's ten minutes and twenty-five seconds of me peeing all over you! Which you should be grateful for." 

"Well, longer than that, I mean you were going since before the first time you got us off," Dave said. Out of curiosity, he slid his hand down to place his palm against Jade's crotch, and found there was still a steady stream of warm urine flowing though her panties. "And for that matter, the 'Jade Harley takes a piss' stopwatch is still ticking."

"Mmm," Jade sighed happily, nuzzling her face against Dave's chest for a moment. "Yep! It's pretty nice. But I think I should finish up here for now." With a wink, she lifted herself off of Dave's body and got up on her knees.

Dave sat up too, letting his urinating girlfriend continue to straddle his legs - her pee splattered down onto his thighs, which were only barely above the surface of the flood of yellow-tinted liquid that Jade had left him sitting in. Fortunately, Jade had used her space powers to modify her mattress so the edges were higher than the rest, so that when she had a plastic sheet on it she was free to make a sizable pool in the middle without it spilling off. "Damn, Jade, your bladder really outdid itself this time." 

"Aww, thanks! Well, yours helped too!" Jade grinned, and leaned in to kiss Dave on the nose. She then pulled back and shifted her kneeling position so her thighs were vertical, and her crotch directly in front of Dave's chest. With a giggle, Jade reached down and pulled the urine-soaked fabric of her panties to the side to reveal her peeing vulva. She directed her stream forward at Dave's chest, swaying back and forth to aim it across his shirt. "Let me just mark my territory a bit here..." 

"Jade, I'm pretty sure I'm completely and thoroughly marked with your piss already," Dave replied, though he clearly wasn't opposed to Jade continuing to relieve herself on him. She just stuck out her tongue in response, and they smiled at each other for a few moments longer until Jade finally finished up, and her stream reduced to a trickle of droplets before ending.

"Ahh! That feels better!" Jade said, plopping her butt back down on Dave's lap and embracing him tightly. "That was a lot of fun! But I think we should go and clean up now."

"Yep yep, sounds good," Dave nodded. Jade nodded back, and then closed her eyes to focus her space powers a bit. With a green flash, Jade sent all of their clothes and sheets to the washing machine, and her puddle of urine to a nearby drain. Dave found himself sitting naked on the now-dry plastic mattress cover, with Jade similarly naked on his lap. 

"Alright, now to the shower!" Jade placed a kiss on Dave's cheek and bounded up off of the bed, and Dave couldn't help but crack a smile as he watched. He slid to the edge of the bed and stretched out before standing up slowly. Jade leaned in to hug him, and with a giggle also reached to playfully stroke his dick, which had gotten erect again. "Aww, little Davey is back up! I bet he liked that shower from before, heheh." 

"A shower? That was more like a goddamned hurricane there. Category 5 storm makes landfall on Dave's junk, causes torrential rains and flooding, there's no survivors," Dave monotoned.

Jade laughed heartily at that, then leaned down to address 'little Davey' again. "Well, you better get ready again 'cause Hurricane Jade is expected to come back again later on today! She'll make landfall here... here... here..." Jade proceeded to place her fingers on various spots on Dave's body, starting at his crotch and working up to his chest. "... And maybe even up here!" Jade punctuated her last statement with another kiss on Dave's cheek. 

"Damn, Jade, you're gross," Dave said jokingly, reciprocating the quick kiss.

"Yep! But you're just as filthy!" Jade grinned, then turned away to head for the door. She reached back to grab Dave's hand and tug him along. "C'mon, let's go shower!"


End file.
